Teething problems

Retired civil servant, Fang Mozhi, 56, came to Shanghai in 2023 to take care of her pregnant daughter. After her granddaughter was born in 2024, she began to take care of the baby full-time.

"I didn't think too much about it at the time. Pregnancy is a sensitive stage, and I was worried she might feel stressed or anxious. I just felt I had to be there with her," said Fang.

Daily life now revolves almost entirely around the child. Fang's schedule is shaped by feeding times, naps and play.

"Every tiny change feels like a victory. Yet the responsibility also comes with constant pressure. I'm always worried about her getting sick or getting hurt. You can never really relax," said Fang.

Living in a big city far from home has not been easy. Fang admits that she often misses her old friends, familiar streets and the taste of local food. In the community where she now lives, most residents speak the Shanghai dialect, which she does not understand.

"At the beginning, I felt very lonely. There was no one to chat with in my own dialect," she said. At times, she feels more like a temporary visitor than a true resident, even though her days are filled with purpose.

Differences in parenting ideas have also emerged between Fang and her daughter and son-in-law, particularly over issues of cleanliness and the family's decision to keep pets. While she initially found it hard to accept, she gradually learned to compromise.

Her husband remained in Yangzhou and their main form of connection is through phone and video calls. Despite this, she believes they share a common understanding.

"We both know we are doing this for the next generation. Everything we endure, every sacrifice we make, is so that they can grow up with more choices, more opportunities, and a better life than we ever had," she said.

Reflecting on the growing number of elderly people like herself who move to big cities to support their children, Fang sees deeper forces at work. Rising living costs, childcare expenses and financial pressures on households have made such arrangements almost inevitable.

"We rely on each other and sacrifice for each other. That's just the reality of many families today, where everyone carries a part of the burden in their own way," she said.

Around 320 million women were employed in 2022, accounting for 43.2 percent of the country's workforce, the National Bureau of Statistics' Statistical Monitoring Report of China National Program for Women's Development (2021-2030) showed.

This trend has created new demands among young couples for childcare, often relying on older family members to step in, sometimes moving from their hometowns to help.