Kauai, America and China all hold people dear to me. Skype and e-mail help to keep current with those I'm away from but I try to keep loneliness at bay by focusing on those I'm with in the here and now. No matter how much I'm anticipating going "home" I miss each place and the people (and the food) the minute I leave. I have developed a form of multiple personalities, each of which shows itself in the different settings.

Years ago someone asked actress Bette Davis how she managed to be away from home so much. She said that she always took a small box of familiar items with her, framed photographs, a scarf she puts over a lamp, bits and pieces of things. Even if she was only staying overnight she got them out. This meant she felt "at home" wherever she was. I'm a "nester" and I remembered that, so I've done the same as I switch homes. It helps. Familiar things evoke familiar faces and places.

Feeling "at home" can be a state of mind, and for expats, it's crucial to develop it in order to fully enjoy the experience of living far, far away from what we call "home". Or, used to.

China is noisy and confusing, always surprising and holds incomparable beauty. Kauai is warm and friendly and a bit too slow sometimes. America is clean, quiet and polite, but expensive and somewhat boring in its predictability.

To be "at home" with such diverse cultures requires a weird ability to both connect and disconnect in the course of a plane ride. Not always an easy thing to do.

Which "home" do I prefer? Why, the one I'm in at the moment, of course!